A Disastrous First Date

Published: 13th January 2010
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When you imagine a first date you probably think of having an amazing time and everything going to plan, but in reality this doesn't always happen. Being prepared for a disastrous date isn't something many people do; they assume the date is going to be perfect. It is always a good idea to think about what you can do when a bad date comes to an end. If you feel the date was bad, you must never assume that your date also thought it was bad; for them it could have went well.



The first rule about ending a bad date is never be rude. Sometimes people simply don't click which creates an awkward atmosphere, but it isn't anyone's fault. Being rude won't help the situation, it will only make you appear foolish. The last thing you want to do is make an awkward situation even worse and upset the person you are with. The best way to deal with a bad date is to be polite and get through the date the best you can, knowing that you aren't going to see them again. It might help to hurry things along, for example, if you are at a restaurant you can hurry the date by skipping dessert and coffee. If necessary you can say you don't feel well, but this escape plan should only be used in extreme circumstances.



When it comes to saying goodbye, don't imply or say that you would like to see them again if you have absolutely no intention of it. It might be easier to end the date that way, but it isn't fair on your date to lead them on. Honesty is always the best policy, even if it means being firm with your date. Don't make the mistake of getting too involved in discussing why you don't wish to arrange a second date; simply express your feelings in a kind manner but stay firm. For example, you could tell them that you didn't feel a connection between you both, or that you didn't feel any chemistry. There is no point in being hurtful and discussing your date's flaws; the last thing you want is to create a scene.



If you are the person who felt the date went well, only to discover the person you were with thought it was awful, then you mustn't take it to heart. Try not to react badly to being let down. If possible imagine how you would feel being in a relationship with someone who didn't feel the same way as you. It is better to be let down on the first date than months further down the line when you have stronger emotions for them. Although it may be hard, listen to the reasons your date gives you for not wishing to arrange another date. For all you know they could mention some valid reasons, possibly things which you weren't aware of and you could work on, but be prepared for your date to make up excuses for not wanting to see you again. People often make up reasons as they find it easier than telling the truth.



Unsuccessful first dates are usually due to two people simply not connecting. A connection between two people cannot be forced and you can't have chemistry with everyone you meet, so don't hold all your hopes and dreams on one single date. As you gain experience with dating, knowing how to end a date, both good and bad, will become that bit easier for you. Put bad dates down to experience and don't waste time in thinking about them. Focus on future dates, but always be prepared for both successful and disastrous dates.





Deborah has been the head copy writer for Completely Free Dating for over 2 years offering help and dating advice to its members on all aspects of UK dating. Completely Free Dating is a free service for people looking for UK and Ireland dating, with absolutely no charges to any member at any time for any service.

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